Before you go any further, read this...

Dictionary.com defines a redneck as:

1. an uneducated white farm laborer, esp. from the South.

2. a bigot or reactionary, esp. from the rural working class.

It goes on to say that redneck is A slang term, usually for a rural white southerner who is politically conservative, racist, and a religious fundamentalist. This term is generally considered offensive. It originated in reference to agricultural workers, alluding to how the back of a person's neck will be burned by the sun if he works long hours in the fields.

While I can't say all that fits me to a tee, a lot of it is pretty damn close.

You see, I lost both my parents before I turned 12 years old. I bounced around in a couple of foster homes before moving in with my uncle when I tuned 15. By age 17, I was on my own. I dropped out of school half way through 11th grade so I could go to work full time. Three months after my 18th birthday, I got behind the wheel of a cab for the first time.

I've learned more about life in 28 years in a hack than any philosopher ever could know. I've had multi-million dollar businessmen, celebrities and pro athletes as well as crack whores, drug dealers and murderers in my cab. I refuse to be an airport jockey or one of those guys that only stages at the hotels, so unfortunately, I have to deal with more of the bottom feeders of life than I do the upper crust.

It is the dealings that I've had the bad apples that has made me what I am today...

The Redneck Cabbie.

You see, to escape the madness of the city streets, my mind drifts off (not while I'm driving) to a quiet country town. A place where everyone knows everyone, and a man's handshake is as binding a contract as a person needs. A place where friends gather to down a couple of cold ones and listen to music that you can actually understand the words.

A place where young men don't walk around with their pants falling down over their ass, and young ladies don't have to dress like sluts to draw a man's attention.

I think you get the picture. I know, boring as whale shit to most city folks. I'd be living in a town just like that if it weren't for the fact that there's just not much demand for my line of work in most small towns.

This blog will reflect these feelings. If I seem a little bitter now and then, its just because that wonderful little town is nowhere in my near future, and because the life expectancy of someone in my line of work doesn't extend much past retirement age, all I can do is dream about it.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Get a dog...

I don't always "pass on" e-mail jokes but this one was pretty cool...


If you want someone who will bring you the paper without first tearing it apart to remove the sports section, then get a dog.



If you want someone willing to make a fool of himself simply over the joy of seeing you, then get a dog.


If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never says it's not quite as good as his mother made it, then get a dog.


If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want, then get a dog.


If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies then get a dog.


If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores, then get a dog.


If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to , and loves you unconditionally, perpetually, then get a dog.


But, on the other hand, if you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you to totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness . .


Scroll down. .




then get a cat!


ADOPT A PET NOW!!!

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